The Truth About the Truth
By Gayle North
“After I woke up in 1986, I noticed many times how people, in conversations, the media, and books, made statements such as “There isn’t enough understanding in the world,” “There’s too much violence,” “We should love one another more.” These were stories I used to believe, too. They seemed sensitive, loving, kind, and caring, but as I heard them, I noticed that believing them caused stress and they didn’t feel peaceful inside.” - Byron Katie, “Loving What Is”
In one of my recent articles about thoughts and emotion, I mentioned, “ the mind is full of lies.” We all develop our own personal rhetoric - our often-repeated “stories” that are based upon lifetimes of beliefs left unexamined.
We all have stories about people we share our lives with, stories about the world and how it works – or doesn’t work, we even develop our personal version of stories about the past. Our lives are played out through these stories causing much of our stress and unhappiness as we cling to them and protect them from alteration.
We all harbor stories such as: “I‘m angry with George because he never listens to me. “ She shouldn’t have said that to me.” “I should get paid more for this.” “People should be more loving.”
In her book, “Loving What Is” Byron Katie suggests that we shine a light she calls “Inquiry” into our statements and stories by asking some questions about them. Think of one of your “stories” and do the following inquiry steps with it.
1. Is it True?
Reality is what is true. The truth is whatever is in front of you. You are listening for your answer from the deepest part of yourself now, not other people’s and not what you have been taught. It is natural to feel unsettled as you are entering the unknown. Be gentle with yourself as you go deeper and allow the truth within you to come to you. Wait for your answer.
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
If your answer to the first question is yes, ask this second one. Sometimes the statement appears to be true. Katie uses this example: “When I heard the story that “People should be more loving,” the question would arise in me “can I really know for myself, within myself, that that’s true? Can I really know for myself, that people should be more loving? Even if the whole world tells me so, is it really true?” And to my amazement, when I listened within myself, I saw the world, as it is – nothing more, nothing less. Where reality is concerned, there is “no what should be.” There is only “what is,” just the way it is, right now. The truth is prior to every story. And every story, prior to investigation, prevents us from seeing what’s true. How could no be the right answer? Everyone knew, all the books said that the right answer should be yes. But I came to see that the truth is itself and will not be dictated by anyone. In the presence of that inner no, I came to see that the world is as it should be, whether I opposed it or not. And I came to embrace reality with all my heart. I love the world, without any conditions.”
Notice how often you use “should” or “shouldn’t” in your thoughts and in your speech. These are only thoughts that we use in our attempt to control reality. If we take these words out of our vocabularies, we can see reality as it is and be free to act efficiently, clearly, and from a deeper wise place with us that where we are aligned with God’s perspective.
The “Inquiry” will continue in the next article with questions 3 & 4 and the Turnaround. You can find out more about Byron Katie and her philosophy at www.thework.org.
Gayle North offers Personal Coaching for Positive Change using recently developed empowerment technologies to clear mental and emotional blocks that keep people stuck in unhealthy habits and prevent them from performing at their highest potential in school, sports, relationships, work and finance. Call 406-837-1214 to learn how you can STOP SMOKING IN ONE HOUR and for coaching in person or by phone.
changeiseasy@montanasky.net www.PositiveChangeInstitute.com
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