Shadow Stuff

By Gayle North

"As we look to the non-spiritual parts of ourselves for the bit of spirit we've been missing - that we have been leaving out in some way - we find God even there."

           - Connirea Andreas, Developer of the Core Transformation process

We all have "Shadow Stuff"

Some parts of ourselves connect easily and deeply with our spiritual nature.  We meditate, we pray, we study to develop our spiritual nature.  And then we have these other parts that seem to get in our way – parts  that get angry, that feel jealous or self-loathing, that are enraged at things, that feel intimidated sometimes, that procrastinate..… parts that fall short of our personal standards and values – that seem to conflict with our desire to live our full potential or be more spiritual or God-like. 

Taking the position that these parts are unworthy, we (this writer included) have tried denial of the existence of them, neglect (hoping that if we starve them of attention they will go away), and we have directed our anger toward these aspects of ourselves that we find unacceptable. Whatever forms the separation from self manifests, it is as if we regard the agitating aspect of ourselves as the enemy

Rejecting "Shadow Stuff" doesn't work.

It is ironic that, in rejecting a part of ourselves because we don't like how it looks, how it behaves, or what it is, we virtually ensure and reinforce the very things for which we have rejected it.  It is a bit like a toddler trying to get attention from his mother. He will act out in more dramatic and louder ways as he attempts to mom's attention and reassurance that he is loved and safe.

When a part of us is ignored it will tend to do whatever it has to do to get our attention. Weight that has always been stubborn gets even more so, addictive urges become stronger, a lack of confidence escalates to feelings of powerlessness, and anger can color everything in our experience, making us blind to our Joy.

"Shadow Stuff" has a positive purpose.

In reality, these aspects of ourselves that generate the irritating behaviors are potential allies in our process of learning to live a rich, meaningful, fully present life.  No matter what shadow thoughts, feelings, and behaviors we face, the positive purpose knocking at the door of consciousness (in the form of the limitation) has the potential to awaken new depths of our spiritual nature. 

I think of them like little flags biding us to follow them to our true states of Joy. When we follow the flag, the exploration always leads to a state like "Peace," "Love," "Joy," "Wholeness," "Oneness with God."  This Core positive purpose is a wellspring of healing which supports deeper connection with our spiritual nature.

As we try to live with parts of ourselves that are using annoying behaviors to get our attention, we experience a rough ride.  The weight that has refused to come off, the addictions, the anger or fear, the painful shyness, these haven't been products of self sabotage or self betrayal, but rather attempts by a part of us to get us from where we are to where we need to be. 

An opportunity for wholeness.

When we can relate to these parts of ourselves based upon a focus on the positive intention rather than the troubling behavior, it becomes much easier and even joyful to invite that part back into ourselves.  The Core Transformation process is a gentle and respectful vehicle for that invitation (see the book Core Transformation by Connirae and Tamara Andreas).  Using this process, it quickly becomes clear that at the root of the behavior we want to change has always been an intention that is positive, even loving and noble.  Through this type of exploration, all parts of us can be acknowledged offering the opportunity to move toward wholeness, and achievement of our full potential in all areas of life.

Gayle North  offers Personal Coaching for Positive Change using recently developed empowerment technologies to clear mental and emotional blocks that keep people stuck in unhealthy habits and prevent them from performing at their highest potential  in school, sports, relationships, work and finance. Call 406-837-1214 to learn how you can STOP SMOKING IN ONE HOUR and for coaching in person or by phone.

changeiseasy@montanasky.net                  www.PositiveChangeInstitute.com