Minding Your Own Business

By Gayle North

"I can find three kinds of business in the universe: yours, Gods, and mine. When I think, I want you to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself, I am in your business."

"When I am worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or God’s business, the effect is separation."

           –  Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is

A dear friend sent me a book recently.  The tile is "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie.   In this article, I share some of the perspectives in the book, as they are simple and powerful enough to shift unhealthy ways of thinking about others and enjoy more peace within.  They are little lightening bolts of insight and I share some of them here with you.

Have you noticed that when you make a statement such as "My Father/Mother should understand me" that you immediately experiencing a feeling of loneliness? Have you ever thought of that as delving into someone else's business?   When you make a statement that anyone other than yourself "should" be or do or have anything, you cross the line into another's business.  

"If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is living mine? We're both over there." - Byron Katie

Being mentally present in other people's business keeps you from being present in your own.   If I am focused upon your life, I am separated from myself, and I will be wondering why my life is not working.

Katie says, "To think that I know what is best for anyone else is to be out of my business.  Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear.  Do I know what's right for myself?  That is my only business.  Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you."

Truly knowing enough about the three kinds of business, you can be free in profound ways.  Katie suggests, "Next time you are feeling stress or discomfort. Ask yourself whose business you're mentally in – maybe you will burst out laughing!"  That question can bring you back to yourself.  You may actually come to see that you've never really been present that you've been mentally living in other people's business all your life.  Just to notice that can bring you back to your own wonderful self.

Gayle North  offers Personal Coaching for Positive Change using recently developed empowerment technologies to clear mental and emotional blocks that keep people stuck in unhealthy habits and prevent them from performing at their highest potential  in school, sports, relationships, work and finance. Call 406-837-1214 to learn how you can STOP SMOKING IN ONE HOUR and for coaching in person or by phone.

changeiseasy@montanasky.net                  www.PositiveChangeInstitute.com