Feel Bad, Feel Good
By Gayle North
"We all know how to feel bad, and we know how to feel neutral. What we need to learn is how to feel good. Feeling good is a natural right, you can do it all the time, with no artificial stimulants."
- Gay Hendricks author of Conscious Loving
A friend of mine related an experience that happened when she was about eight or ten years old. She was feeling particularly happy one day, for no specific reason, and came bounding into the kitchen where her mother was cooking. Her mother, seeing the obvious glow and exuberance in her seemed to become irritated and said to her, "What are you so happy about? Wipe that smile off and dry these dishes!"
My friend said that she felt deflated and got a message, "It's not okay to feel good." From then on, my friend began to check her mother's energy level first and then tune her own to match her mother's.
Our parents wanted us to be happy – but not too, happy. Too much positive energy can upset the delicately balanced structure of many families. This experience is typical of the programming most of us have received as children.
We get the same message in other ways. You may have been out riding your bike having an especially good time. Then in a split second, you were distracted and fell unceremoniously on the pavement, skinning your knee. Or maybe you were playing happily and suddenly got punished for something. How many times have you heard, "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched?”
Eventually, we build up a program in our mind that says, "Don’t let yourself feel too good, something bad is likely to happen next." "Even though your foot is on the gas pedal, you had better keep the brakes on." "Who do you think you are?"
The programming that feeling good results in pain gets reinforced with literally hundreds of experiences as we are growing up. The result of our compounded experiences could be called the "Upper Limits Syndrome or Problem." This syndrome causes us to stop the joy when we reach our personal limit.
You may notice this syndrome in your most intimate relationships. After having a particularly good time with your mate, can you keep the good times rolling? Or do you tend to "break the spell" and sink the interaction into lower energy frequencies of conflict or numbness?
Overcoming our childhood programming and our limiting beliefs about living in a continual state of joy takes a high level of awareness. It also requires some personal clearing work with a coach or counselor who can help you clear the old beliefs and blocks that stop you from being your natural self. We were created to experience more joy. All of the healing mechanisms needed are already inside of us.
Many people in the human development field have the perception that although human beings have been struggling and suffering for thousands, maybe millions of years, a shift has taken place. Human beings seem to be actually creating new receptors in their neurology for experiencing positive energy.
My personal perception is that this is a time of healing. This is a time for ending the trauma and dysfunction that has been passed on for generations since the beginning of time. We can end the unhealthy addictions that are only substitutes for true peace and joy.
Let us end the suffering and the struggle by healing ourselves and thus stopping the generational relay system that has been in place. Let's hand off to our children and grandchildren a birthright to know that they are lovable and give them a deep belief that it is good to feel good.
Gayle North offers Personal Coaching for Positive Change using recently developed empowerment technologies to clear mental and emotional blocks that keep people stuck in unhealthy habits and prevent them from performing at their highest potential in school, sports, relationships, work and finance. Call 406-837-1214 to learn how you can STOP SMOKING IN ONE HOUR and for coaching in person or by phone.
changeiseasy@montanasky.net www.PositiveChangeInstitute.com
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