Bad Parts

By Gayle North

"As we look to the non-spiritual parts of ourselves for the bit of spirit we've been missing -  that we have been leaving out in some way - we find God even there."

            - Connirea Andreas, Developer of the Core Transformation process

You may have noticed that some parts of yourself connect easily and deeply with your spiritual nature – that as you pray or meditate or study some parts of you bask in the experience.  At times it may seem that you have shifted into a permanent state of grace. 

Then in the natural rhythm of self discovery, those other parts of ourselves that seem to get in our way surface to be noticed – parts that get angry, that feel jealous or self-loathing, that are enraged at things, that feel intimidated sometimes, that procrastinate..… parts that fall short of our personal standards and values, parts that seem to conflict with our desire to live our full potential or be more spiritual or God-like. 

I have noticed that most of my clients take the position that these parts are unworthy and have tried different strategies for dealing with them.  They have usually tried denial of their existence (hoping that if they starve these parts of attention they will go away), and they have all directed anger and criticism toward these aspects of themselves that they find unacceptable- in the effort to motivate themselves to change. They regard the agitating aspect of themselves as the enemy or the “devil part” of themselves.

Rejecting "Bad Parts” doesn't work.

It is ironic that in rejecting a part of ourselves because we don't like how it looks, how it behaves, or what it is, we virtually ensure and reinforce the very things for which we have rejected it.  It is a bit like a toddler trying to get attention from his mother. He will act out in more dramatic and louder ways as he attempts to get mom's attention and reassurance that he is loved and safe.

When a part of us is ignored or criticized it will tend to do whatever it has to do to get our attention and impart it’s message.  Excess body weight that has been stubborn gets even more so, addictive urges become stronger, a lack of confidence escalates to feelings of powerlessness, and anger at the self colors everything causing blindness and strengthens the energetic blocks to success.

"Bad Parts" have a positive purpose.

In reality, these aspects of ourselves that generate the irritating behaviors are potential allies in our process of learning to live a rich, meaningful, fully present life.  No matter what shadow thoughts, feelings, and behaviors we face, the positive purpose knocking at the door of consciousness (in the form of the limitation) has the potential to awaken new depths of our spiritual nature. 

As you notice those parts of yourself that are causing annoying behaviors to get your attention, you may experience a rough ride.  The weight that has refused to come off, the addictions, the anger or fear, the painful shyness, these haven't been products of your self sabotage or self betrayal, but rather attempts by a part of you to get you from where you are to a higher potential or expression of who you are.  Here are some tips for creating positive change:

1.   Stop condemning yourself.  Say to yourself “Even though I have this problem with ________, I accept myself as I am, even that part of me that causes this problem.”  Try this  – every time you notice your negative self talk and you will experience positive change in areas of your life that you may have considered hopeless.    

2.   You can actually communicate with the parts that are generating the cravings or the negative patterns in you life.  Take them one at a time and set your intention to communicate with the part that is causing your troubling problem.  Ask that part what message it has for you and what it wants for you through generating the problem. 

I think of them like little flags biding us to follow them to our true states of Joy. When we  follow the flag,  the exploration always leads to a state like  "Peace," "Love," "Joy," "Wholeness," "Oneness With God."  This core positive purpose is a wellspring of healing which supports deeper connection with our spiritual nature.

 An opportunity for wholeness.

Relate to these parts of yourself based upon the positive intention rather than the troubling behavior. It then becomes much easier to invite that part back into yourself - integrating it into your wholeness instead of separating it out and punishing it.  The Core Transformation process is a gentle and respectful vehicle for that invitation (see the book Core Transformation by Connirae and Tamara Andreas).  Using this process, it quickly becomes clear that the at the root of the behavior we want to change has always been an intention that is positive, even loving and noble.

Within each “inadequacy” also is the seed for healing more than just the problem itself.  Through this type of exploration, all parts of you can be acknowledged offering the opportunity to move toward wholeness, and achievement of your full potential in all areas of life.

Gayle North  offers Personal Coaching for Positive Change using recently developed empowerment technologies to clear mental and emotional blocks that keep people stuck in unhealthy habits and prevent them from performing at their highest potential  in school, sports, relationships, work and finance. Call 406-837-1214 to learn how you can STOP SMOKING IN ONE HOUR and for coaching in person or by phone.

changeiseasy@montanasky.net                  www.PositiveChangeInstitute.com